Should Have Guessed.

"I have good news and bad news. What do you want first?" he told me a few days ago.
"Bad news." I replied.
"You won't be able to see your friends or family for 3 years."
"Lol how is that bad news? What's the better news?" (It's not that I dislike them, I just spend my time isolated anyway and close with only a few family members)
"We're going to Okinawa." 

At that moment 2 things crossed my mind, "OH MY GOSH WERE GOING TO OKINAWA!!" and of course "Wait, who's we?" because the realization set in "We" might not include me. A thousand questions and couple hours later, it did in fact include me and not a ton of information was had.

I've been sitting on this information for a couple days. Thinking. Reflecting.

I put myself through a rush to redo my resume and get in job applications before deadlines in a couple states. VA mostly. I looked at houses and made plans, estimated distances and thought I had it all figured out. I guess this is the part where I say "At least I learned something." Which I did. I feel accomplished on my research still. The problem however, is research starts again at square 1. Overseas.

I trash my papers, my research, job listings and house listings, and spend all day reading Overseas PCS information.

When we originally talked about Okinawa, I wasn't going with him. I wouldn't be allowed to (According to rumors) and things would stay the same. I'd continue to work changing flights from every month to every other as the plane ticket doubled in price. You'd think I'd know by now, he being in for almost a year, that nothing is definite and never listen to rumors. Except of course, when the "rumors" might be true.

Instead of "Where will I work?" "What housing can I find?" "How much is there to do?" "Is there a zoo around?" "What am I packing?" All I can think of now, running through my head on repeat is "Ahhh!" I'm not afraid. I've traveled over seas and moved constantly all my life. I get fussy sitting in one place longer than 4-5 years. I just feel like all control was surrendered, and there's nothing I can do to preoccupy myself. I can't really DO anything productive and that's whats getting to me.

There is a question that plagues me though. Three, actually. One of them being "What if I can't go?" The second "What if I never see them again?" I know its only 3 years. That actually isn't too long. It is however, extremely long when contemplating my doggies age. He's 16. He acts like he's still in pretty good health but I know he's getting up there. I love that dog more than a lot of things as he's been there the majority of my life. I keep thinking of his age, and my grandpa whos rounding 90. My grandpa I worry slightly less about, because I when I move out, he moves in.

This brings me to my third question. "When do I quit my job?" Do I quit sooner, than later and spend the time visiting my Grandpa? Bothering my doggy? Spending time with my Mother? Maybe even visit a few family members in California. Or do I stay as long as I can, saving up what extra money I can? When do I stop working? How soon is too soon to give notice? My boss and co-workers have been aware of this for a while now. I've been leaving them with unanswered questions.