Too Many Eggs.

I've heard time and time again, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."

That's exactly what I'm doing. Sitting here with a pile of "eggs" making way to many plans for something that's so indefinite.

Here I am looking at houses and making plans, and everything is still up in the air. What if he goes to Oki? What if all these plans are shot because he goes over seas and I stay here and continue to work, and things remain the same? Or... what if I under plan? What if he gets the base he put in for, and there aren't enough housing choices? I wasn't through? What if I'm terrible with time frames and my stuff should already be packed?

Panicking is what I do.
I do it quite well.

He told me last week he finds out this week. This week he said "Possibly this week, maybe next week."

The great thing about my odd little mind, is I can psych myself up for anything. I'm not sure if its "Looking on the bright side of things" or if it's just lying to myself until I believe it, but it happens quickly and it's a great feeling.

I'll just be here Submits more job applications, making a few more check lists, and planing out DIY projects.

I'm So Impatient.

It's still a bit before he has his orders, but I'm the type to always want to plan ahead. Sometimes I jump the gun way to early.

In front of me I have papers scattered on my desk, and PDFs saved all over my screen. I've been compiling items of information and forms on Base Housing, Apartments, and Homes to rent. I've also been bugging the few spouses I know for their input, but it still leaves me clueless.

So what am I doing all day? Looking for homes in the most likely locations of his duty station on and off base. Which I've decided is about 5/15 locations if I did my math and stats right. If a curve ball hits, and it's a base I didn't think of, I'll still have practice in locating places to live and what to look for.

Do I have any idea what I'm actually doing? No. No I don't... but I can pretend.

Plus it passes time at work and keeps me busy.

I think I need a new hobby.

Few More Days

I get to see him this weekend. Finally. It's only been about 2 months. I can't say I'm excited about his new location, he doesn't seemed to thrilled about it either, but I'm excited to see him. I can't really blame him. He's so used to stuff being one way, now he's surrounded by all new territory and things. In theory, all new Nouns. I think what bothers me at the moment is my lack of grasp on things.

I Google everything constantly. Usually have a general idea of what to expect when it comes to various things hes doing/will be doing. Had a grasp on his MOS. I could help with homework. Now I'm just over there twiddling my thumbs going "Uhh... what?" Gives us time though to work twords weight goals. I'm still calorie cutting and walking for an hour, while hes up at 0300 (My time) hitting the gym. Who does that? D:

I was telling him the other day that I get into feelings/state of mind where I don't see him as gone. I don't see him as in the Military. I get this overwhelming scene that he's just out rock climbing for hours like he used to and will be back later on. It's strange. Sometimes its like nothing has changed.

I think I'm just being weird.

Patience

It's driving me crazy.

He's mostly settled into his new location and I'm already counting down days til I can see him. It's really unlike me to think about someone non-stop. Do I miss the attention? You could say that. It's only been a week, so I should understand his new schedule soon enough.

I think the current place is good for him. Good for "us" despite me still being home. Lack of communication between us is giving us both time to work on our physical fitness.  I dropped about 15lbs for the wedding, and some how managed to gain it all back in a single weekend. Plus some. Maybe an extra 5. It felt like starting completely over (For the 90th time). I know I need to drop it and keep it off, so that's what I'm set out to do. Lose it a bit more "Slowly" per say for an easier time maintaining.  I wan't to drop 26lbs. He, in the mean time, is looking to gain about another 25. We have an agreement to just meet in the middle.

We'll see how this goes. I need to increase cardio soon.

I'm a Mrs. Now What?

What comes next?

Finally receive certificate of Marriage? Check.
Social Security name change? Check.
Update Licence? Ehh.. I have an 8 year one I forked over $70 for that won't expire for 6 more. Pass.
Update work information? I'll pass on that too.

Social Security Office was actually a breeze. I was technically finished in about 15-20 minutes including waiting in line to get in, waiting in line to check in, then waiting in line for a window. I watched other people fill the lobby I guess looking to obtain or replace a whole new one? Maybe?

I went prepared filling out the Application for Social Security Card form online. All the guy needed was the actual Marriage Certificate I brought and a valid ID. No parents socials, or signatures or anything like that. I found it kind of strange but didn't really question him. Maybe it was just to mail in.

I ended up running into an old friend doing security there and got overly excited. She was one of my favorite people to small talk with in the morning and was always so friendly. She remembered me first, and of course I remembered her. I feel like the other officers were just kinda all "What?..."

I guess Step 5 (Since I skipped 3 and 4) is DEERS/ID.

Then... am I done? With paperwork? At least til it comes time to living with him?
I feel like I am.

The After Effect

I think everything was delayed.

All the overwhelming emotions, all the extreme amounts of happiness that seem to leak from my eyes, its all delayed. It's just now sinking in that I'm married to the love of my life and when I really stop to think about it, I get a bit emotional. 

I knew we were married, but it felt like a Birthday more then anything. It came, it was awesome, but it was last week and doesn't really set in. People would ask "What's it like being married?" or "How do you feel now that you're married?" And I'd respond with "Uhh... what?" I'd think to myself "Am I supposed to feel different?" I still don't really feel different, but a different reality has come into view. 

My life, rather Our Life, is changed forever. In Our future we'll have Our house. Our mess. Our pots and pans and dishes and a bed that we'll call ours. Our taxes will now be filed Married - Separate/Joined and everything else about our current life will slowly phase out.

That's where the different feeling comes in. It's a good feeling.

He is my Husband.
I am his Wife.

I've never smiled as much as I did while seeing him stand at the other end of the aisle.

Now back to all these forms to still fill out. 

Strength of Bonds

What I'd actually like to talk about is rings. Wedding Rings/Bands, and how tough they really are.

Since I was young I loved rocks. Rocks I found on the ground, or in the grass, and even sometimes the polished ones found in stores. That love of rocks turned into a love of gems and other precious stones. Later, as I grew older, it turned into a fixation with the minerals and metals around them. I don't call myself an expert by any means, but I do love reading up on them.

I wasn't too picky when It came down to my ring. He knew I wanted anything other than yellow gold. That leaves the 3 greater known materials. White Gold, Platinum, and my new favorite but hard to come by Palladium (Silver and Titanium are less common metals). I'm not gentle by any means and knew I'd need something that could possibly outlast my clumsiness. When it comes to his however, I dove head first into research.

After scaring myself with multiple pictures and reading about bands for males who work with their hands, I learned the dangers of the softer metal. Metals such as Gold tend to bend under pressure. They can bend around the finger, clamping down on the skin. If caught in something and pulled, it can have as much of an effect as "degloving" the finger. Not to be too graphic, but it's where the skin tears from the finger leaving sometimes just the bone with slight muscle. It scared me. Another horrible property is its high thermal conductivity, with low resistivity. It will complete a circuit and conduct heat that will leave a burn to scar you for life. Platinum, like gold, will also burn and bend, but not to the same degree.

I then turned to Tungsten and Ceramic. Tungsten has the highest melting point of any other metal and is amazing when it comes to heat resistant. The best property about it is when significant pressure is applied, it shatters. Its brittle enough to crack into parts and not have to be cut off in case of emergency. Ceramic is the same. The main difference between the two is Tungsten can come in all shades of metal from a shiny silver to a polished black, while ceramic is usually found white or black. Ceramic is scratch resistant, but if possibly damaged maintains its color and the scratch is nearly invisible.

The down fall to Tungsten and/or Ceramic is size. While other metals can be melted over and over again to resize as needed, Tungsten and Ceramic cannot. A lot of places offer a small fee to completely replace the ring, which isn't too bad considering the price of this metal/material is better priced for what you're getting vs the softer ones. I explained to him my logic behind my choice and filled his head with way more information actually needed. We both agreed on Ceramic, and I found a ring that matched both our tastes.

On the geekier side of things, I also had it engraved to say "Soulbound." You maybe thinking "aww that's kind of cute, how is that geeky?" It comes from World of Warcraft. Items marked "Bind on Equip" in game, become Soulbound and change in the item description, once equipped as an item.

"Soulbound is the property of an item that prevents it from being traded or mailed to another character or sold in the Auction House." 

He ended up with Black Ceramic. He Loved it.